Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
