He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize