There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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