we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
