I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
