Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
