Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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