The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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