TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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