"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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