I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
