nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
soo... how was my night?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
