Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
