Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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