I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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