his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
