you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
