YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize