First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
