I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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