am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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