no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have fence marks all over my body
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
