I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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