I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
