it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
