im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize