After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
