I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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