I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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