Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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