evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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