??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
