We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
