I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
