Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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