why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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