ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
