her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
