I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize