i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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