sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
