but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
