dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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