We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize