so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
