Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
