Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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