if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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