seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
