i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
