Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
