Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
