The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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