That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
