I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
