coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
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