I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
