so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
