we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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