My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
