ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
