she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just invented taco cereal.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
