It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
