planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
