Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You need a sexual gate keeper
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
